I wrote a blog on Ho’oponopono, about a friend who was having a very difficult time coping with the way her daughter and son-in-law were treating their children. She wanted my advice.

I thought about what I could say to relieve her stress. But she was in too much distress for me to just toss out pat phrases like: “It’s not your job,” which it isn’t; “Relax and Allow,” which she couldn’t; or “You can’t create in another person’s reality,” which you can’t.

These phrases all apply, but when someone is in the “heat of the moment” it’s important to have a way of turning down the flames and catching your breath.

So, I sent her the Ho’oponopono prayer. Simply stated it consists of four short, but very powerful phrases.

I love you

I’m sorry

Please forgive me

Thank you

It’s the ancient Hawaiian blessing to “make it right.” To make it right with your ancestors or with the people with whom you have relationships. It has since been called many things such as: a prayer for forgiveness, reconciliation, taking responsibility, releasing resistance, removing blocks and improving energy flow.

Wikipedia says:

Hoʻoponopono is defined as mental cleansing. In family conferences relationships are set right through prayer, discussion, confession, repentance, and mutual restitution and forgiveness.

Ho’o is the equivalent to the English “to”.

It creates a verb from the noun pono, which is defined as: “goodness, uprightness, morality, moral qualities, correct or proper procedure, excellence, well-being, prosperity, welfare, benefit, true condition or nature, duty; moral, fitting, proper, righteous, right, upright, just, virtuous, fair, beneficial, successful, in perfect order, accurate, correct, eased, relieved; should, ought, must, necessary.”

Ponopono is defined as “to put to rights; to put in order or shape, correct, revise, adjust, amend, regulate, arrange, rectify, tidy up, make orderly or neat.”

In my blogs and in my modules, I talk about taking responsibility for yourself. But Ho’oponopono goes much further.

I love you

I’m sorry

Please forgive me

Thank you

Just say the phrases over and over and over; they are very easy to memorize. To me, they have become an affirmation and a mantra that I use when I’m trying to clear my head of a worry or stress. They even help me drift off to sleep.

They may sound trite and insincere to you at first, but soon enough you will be immersed in their deeper meaning. Saying them about someone you’re angry with will soften your emotions and can shift your relationship. Just knowing that by working on yourself you can affect your whole universe is a miracle.

And, if you’re truly committed to working on yourself, you have to support your physical body through your transition by giving it the very best nutrients that money can buy. You can find them at:


Dr. Carolyn Dean

RnA ReSet